Why Are You Like This??
Recently I ran into my high school English teacher, Ms. Barley (not her real name). Mind you, this is some thirty years after graduation. And I'm feeling pretty good about myself. Family's great, I'm involved in my community, and, honestly, I've done alright for myself. So, I'm giving her the life update, feeling all proud.
Then I mention real estate. And BAM. Her whole vibe shifts. "Oh... real estate? I just thought... with your brilliance... well, as long as you're happy!"
Seriously? I instantly felt like I was back in high school, second-guessing every choice I'd ever made. It's easy to get mad at her, right? Judgy, tactless, the works. But let's be real, the world's full of people like that. And you can't expect everyone to be your cheerleader.
The truth is, my worst critic isn't Ms. Barley. It's my own brain. She just poked the bear, so to speak. And it's my job to calm it back down.
Look, I've had my share of face-plants. We all have, right? I've underachieved, failed, and squandered opportunities like they were going out of style.
High school? Advanced classes, C average. Yeah, I wasn't big on homework.
PhD programs? Got the applications in, then chickened out and never opened the envelopes.
My career? Let's just say it's been... eclectic. Scientist, singer, marketing, fitness, teaching, waitressing, life coach, MLM... and real estate.
Ignored my body, ended up with a bum foot.
And, oh, the potty-training incident with my first kid? Let's just say it involved three days of... well, never mind.
Cringey, right? I used to be so ashamed of all that. But then I learned to get my "lizard brain" to play nice with my "thinking brain." And now, I just see it as data.
Turns out, there's a reason we do the weird stuff we do. That whole survival instinct thing? It's powerful.
Homework? My brain didn't see it as life-or-death.
PhD? Too big a leap, too scary.
Career hopping? Survival mode, baby.
Ignoring my body? Didn't want to look weak.
Potty training? Wanted to look like a good mom to my “tribe”.
It's frustrating, I know. We want to be our best selves, but our brains are wired for survival. We know we should do the things, but our inner caveman is like, "Nah, donuts are easier."
And here's the kicker: those instincts? They're outdated. They're behind a lot of the problems we see in the world. But evolution is slow. So, it's up to us to take control.
Here's my conversational take on how we do that:
Spot your inner caveman. Recognize when your lizard brain is trying to run the show.
Talk back to it. Challenge those limiting beliefs. "Is this really a life-or-death situation?"
Focus on the long game. Think about what you really want, not just what feels good right now.
Be kind to yourself. We all mess up. It's part of being human.
Ms. Barley? She just reminded me that external validation is fleeting. True happiness comes from knowing how to handle your own inner critic. And honestly, we’re all works in progress.